How to Face Your Emotions – Instead of Ignoring your Feelings, Face Your Feelings

Hello everyone.  Today I decided to do a rant about how to face your emotions.  Talking about this topic may give you some insight on how to be a more fuller you.  I’m going to try to do what’s called wholistic therapy, meaning therapy that helps your life as a whole.

So What do I mean by Facing Your Emotions?

What I mean is, I want you to literally face your emotions.  A lot of us are able to face positive emotions, because most people like to feel good about themselves (Let’s be honest, who doesn’t?).  But what happens when we feel a negative emotion?

Before I tell you more about this, you have to understand that emotions are a part of the human experience.  To shut your emotions off is like shutting your humanity off.  Emotions are a part of who you are as a person, both good and bad.  The main thing is to integrate both postive and negative emotions into your being.

But you’re probably wondering why you would even want to allow negative emotions to happen?  After all, positivity is proven to be a good and healthy thing to do for yourself.  But, in all fairness, having negative emotions is just as healthy believe it or not.  Let’s just say it’s the Universe’s way of making you a whole person.  To try to ignore negative emotions is taking a chunk of yourself and ignoring that chunk of yourself.

This is actually very dangerous if you’re not careful.  “What resists; persists.”  If you try to ignore an emotion or, let’s get more general, a problem, that problem will come back to haunt you in waves.  And each wave will get bigger and worse the more you ignore it.

So How do I Integrate Negative Emotions?

This is when inner child therapy comes into play.  I’m a huge fan of inner child therapy cause a lot of the disappointments we experience are rooted in our childhood.  Because those negative experiences happened during childhood, they carry over to being a teenager, then to young adulthood, etc…  This is, in fact, the root of our problems.

This is why I have a problem with modern self-improvement.  “Oh just think positive.”  Don’t get me wrong, I know that saying that comes from a good place, but honestly it’s the worst advice you can give to someone who is struggling.  Instead of trying to ignore the problem, you need to face the problem.  You need to make it become a part of you.

And the way to do that is through a little exercise.

An Exercise Using Inner Child Therapy

I want you to first start inhaling and exhaling very slowly.  This is to help you get comfortable.  I want you to feel relaxed, and one way to get you relaxed is to focus on your breathing.  Breathe in and out very slowly, with your eyes closed.  Really focus on the breath.

After you feel relaxed I want you to choose a problem that caused you to feel a negative emotion.  I want you to really think hard on what problem was very prominent in your life, preferably a problem that caused you to suffer.  I want you to really take your time and think this through.  You’re in no rush.

Once you have found the problem, I want you to sit with the negative emotion that you felt.  I want you to sink into that emotion.  What do I mean by that?  Well, let’s do an example.  Let’s say the emotion is sadness.  I want you to sit with that emotion.  I want you to essentially be sad.  I want you to think about what caused you to be sad, and essentially relive it.

Now, I want you to ask yourself when was the first time you’ve felt sad.  I want you to search your memories and try to think back on the very first time you’ve actually felt sad.  Now, for most of you, the first time you were sad was when you were a child.  I understand, however, that trying to remember a childhood memory could be kind of hard.  So think back as much as you can to a time when you first REMEMBERED being sad.

Once you have found that memory, I want you to focus on that memory.  And, I want you to focus on what created that emotion to begin with.  So, going with our example, I want you to think about what it was that made you sad, and again I want you to sit with that emotion for a while.

After you’ve sat with that emotion, I want you to imagine that your present self is with your past self.  And, I want you to think about what your past self needed to be able to feel better about yourself.  Did your past self want to get mad at the person who upset you?  Did your past self need a hug?  Did your past self needed to just talk about what just happened.  Anything that the past you needed, I want your present self to do it in this memory.

Once your present self fulfilled what your past self needed to move on from this, I want you to tell your past self that you are here now.  You are here now, you are present with your past self.  I want you to think about what your present self would do after he solved the sadness problem.  Would your present self hug your past self?  Would you talk to your past self about what just happened?  Anything to help your past self move on from this traumatic event in your life.

And I want your present self to tell  your past self that anytime you need help just call on the present me and we’ll take care of whatever bothered your past self.  And, with that I want you to come back to the present.

Doing this exercise is helpful because you’re allowing something bad to happen and to be solved in a positive light.  That is how you integrate bad emotions into your being.  You allowed the bad emotion to happen, you put your present self in that situation to solve what your past self needed to move on, and you’ve created closure for you.

The Interesting Conclusion

What you will find, if you take as much time as it takes to do it, you will find that the problem that caused you to feel negative now doesn’t hold you prisoner.  The suffering goes away, and that’s because you are attacking the problem at its root.  The reason why you want to travel back to the first time it happened, is because if you can resolve that problem, then the problem that stemmed from that original problem is now solved.

This is why, in order to live life happily as a whole person, you have to attack problems at its roots.  If you don’t attack something at its roots, it keeps getting worse and worse.  Don’t ever ignore a problem, because that’s a piece of yourself you’re ignoring.  Don’t ignore yourself, solve the problem right then and there.  The secret to living a fulfilling and happy life is to solve problems that stem from childhood.

What do you think?

What do you think?  Do you agree with me?  Does this enlighten you?  Leave your comments in the comment sectiong below and I will be right with you.

If you have a question that wants to be answered on this blog, contact me at jake@musingsfromablacksheep.com and I will consider your question.

 

 

 

 

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